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New York Day 16 – Lower East Side
Mary Poppins Comes to the Lower East Side for one night only.
I’ve discovered the app HopStop. This is amazing in NYC for someone like myself who gets lost turning around. The only problem is that it tells you at the end of a subway stop to go in a compass direction which is an immediate fail for someone like me. Luckily on day 16 the friend who called me to do coat check called me as I got out of Canal Street and asked what way the traffic was going and told me it was the wrong way and to turn around, This was repeated on Day 17 too. Day 18 someone showed me that there was a compass on the iphone. Life is complete.
Day 16 was a Saturday and I was out in Soho wandering around with a friend trying out various vessels of white wine in various bars, which is always going to create a more than drunk night. You never know which way it will go but becoming utterly wasted is always a certainity. I get a call from my friend who has the direction of a magnet asking me to do coat check in his bar. I was drunk so it seemed like a fab idea.
I didn’t really want to do coat check but I had blabbed on about how i would do any job the week before if someone asked me just to try it once and of course when you brag it comes back and hits you in the face. So off I went. A thirty something in a twenty somethi ng lower eastside bar. It was like a drunk Mary Poppins had come to town. ‘Oh do have a fabulous time tonight’ I crowed in a posher than normal voice as I tried to contain my OCD with arranging the tickets as they came back. I thought people would be really rude to me but they weren’t and it was fun until the hangover kicked in at 3am The rail behind me, of course, fell down.
One particular individual eyed me up suspiciously and said ‘What’s going on here?
What do you mean ? I relplied . ‘Your’re far too cute to be running coat check’ I went up to his face and said ‘ you are right – I am too cute to be doing coat check. I’m filling in for a friend.‘What do you do when you are not running coat check?’ he enquired.
‘Run An Empire’. I deadpan replied.
Thank you Pinot Grigio you served me well.
New York Days 11 to 15
So I moved into my gaff in the week. Advertised as a B and B but really like having a small studio apartment on the Upper West Side. I love having the space to myself even though I’m not used to a one room space. I’m obsessed with watching rubbish TV on Netflix as I haven’t watched TV in ages. The main thing that I worked out very quickly is that they deliver anything. And we’re not just talking food. They deliver – Wait for it – Wine, well alcohol in general. It’s already on speed dial and I was a regular within minutes. This is surely worthy of a blog on its own? I’ve also discovered a deli called Citarella that makes Marks and Spencers in the UK look like a corner store. Anything you want it’s there. Like restaurant food without having to sit down. I’ve been twice but I’ve managed to hold back a bit. It’s not been easy.
I got to have my first problem encounter with a neighbour upstairs who sounded like she was dragging furniture around at one in the morning Turns out she was. Being too polite to confront her myself I left a note grassing her up for the housekeeper. I don’t know what I expected to happen but he went straight to her and grassed me back up. On my return home I had a pack of earplugs and an apology note and then the worst case scenario, a knock on the door. I dealt with it by blaming the house for being so creaky not her neurotic behaviour and rather than ending it with a bye then said,
‘You really must come down before you leave and have a glass of wine.’
Why Why Why? So far no knock. I’d only turn the lights out and stand still for an hour if she did.
Manhattan is such a great place to wander around but I’m struggling with the fashion. There doesn’t seem to be any on the streets like London. Pretty generic and sporty. In London more than most have a particular sense of style. Most people I’ve noticed on the street or subway look like they picked up their partners clothes and threw them on, backwards. So much for Sex and the City. I can’t say I’m a sporty dresser so that’s a no. But then the designer discount stores are always worth a visit. Century 21 and Loehmans. Hold me back, I’m about to get into debt.
New York, New York Days 7 to 10
Spring in New York
So after resting up in Florida and moving onto New York I turned up still exhausted. Who on earth escapes from a city like London to come to a city like New York to rest? Lucky for me that I have a couple of very good friends in New York and I was looking forward to spending some quality time. I didn’t have an apartment arranged until Day 11 so I stayed with a good friend until then on the Upper West Side.
The Upper West Side is probably my favourite area of New York to be situated in. It’s residential but has a lot going on with cafe’s, supermarkets and of course banks. You can’t not look up and see a bank so no need to worry about that for a second in Manhattan. Banks that have the biggest waste of space known to man. I entered through the door and then turned to left and walked what felt like a mile to some cash machines. There was nothing in that empty space apart from my thoughts. I could have moved into that space and it would have been bigger than an average studio apartment in Manhattan.
Although I was staying in an apartment that had a married couple and two small children it ended up being a pleasant experience. The little girl aged three could rationalize like a thirty-three year old so that proved challenging at six in the morning when the life, universe and everything needed to be discussed. Even trying to convince her when she put the light on that maybe we needed more sleep time I was met with ‘ No it’s daytime and in the day time we get up and are awake.’ By day eleven, the conversation was flowing with
‘Morning’
‘ Morning’
‘Sleep well?’
‘ Yeah.’
‘ It’s awake time? ‘
‘Yeah.’
End of any argument.
The second child who I stayed with is an anomaly to all babies. At five months old I’ve never seen such a happy chilled out little chubster. I was told that if you get the timing of the milk wrong by the minute you will certainly hear about it but honestly I was present in the room whilst the baba was changed and bathed over half hour and I didn’t even realize that had happened. His mother’s nightmares are that she forgets him somewhere because he can be so quiet. She is not wrong.
A place to walk
So the first few days I was in family land. Eating home cooked food and chilling out. Watching rubbish TV and going to bed early to rise early. Central Park has become a place to go walking. I didn’t realize that from Broadway you can walk a few blocks one way and come to Riverside and walk by the Hudson and go the other way and you are in Central Park within ten minutes. And Central Park is huge. A sudden haven in the concrete jungle. I already have a favourite place to walk around which is the Jackie O Reservoir.
Day 9 the Sunday I ventured out to a place in the Lower East Side called Fat Buddha. And one thing I love about New York bars is that if you sit up at the bar and you are friendly enough the drinks start coming for free. Yes you heard it free. You don’t know this is happening until the end but when would that ever happen in London? The place where alcohol is measured by a thimble, here they may as well be holding you down and pouring it down your throat and for a borderline British alcoholic and most definitely a lush this was Manna. The next morning of Monday (day 10) waking up at half six to work was most certainly not.
Florida Day 1 to 6
Clearwater, Florida; a home from home that I have grown up in for over twenty five years and am full of memories. Some happy, some sad; mostly of being bored when I was a kid. As time as gone on it has become a place of comfort. An escape from the City and a place to recharge.
It’s a place of solitude. You can get nowhere easily without a car, perhaps a bike if you are lucky. Forget walking to a local shop – are you mad? There is no local shop. There’s a beach with rows of Condos (expensive blocks of flats to us) or houses on the sea. And I was lucky enough to be in a house on a sea to witness the sea safari.
To be in a dwelling on the sea with only a murmur of cars behind you is a grounding experience. I arrived exhausted from the energy of the city and I knew I had minimal time to rest. Is it not ridiculous that life can be so hectic in the city even for someone without children that they feel so ill they have to rest? I’d over eaten and over drunk for months. Well that didn’t stop in Florida but the food was at least healthier and the booze less. I blame all that sea air for having to go to bed before 10pm.
During some time with family that reside there I got to see a strange experience for a person who has no children, which was babies learning to swim. My niece of 18 months was going for swimming lessons and I was impressed by her ability to actually swim albeit a panicked tiny amount but still it was impressive. Unfortunately I was distracted by the other half of the pool containing some pensioners doing a class of swim aerobics. I couldn’t help but notice how full of non movement their class was. If anything they just seemed to be still in a circle and not really treading water at all but then why should I have been surprised? The guy taking the class was bigger than all of them. How could they have a sense of hope looking at him?
So not much to report on the first few days, except relaxation and watching the dolphins swim by morning and eve. A baby turtle even popped by to say hello. A dead seahorse had been discarded on the dock but that wasn’t as much of a shock as the giant dead fish in the pool that some Pelican had had enough of.
It’s hot in Florida the sunshine state; too hot for someone as fair skinned as myself to enjoy but I got out there and soaked up the Vitamin D. I don’t think my body had seen the sunshine due to the UK’s miserable weather from the summer before.
I ate seafood galore (although the lobster was from South Africa which I think might ruin the local seafood idea a tad) and enjoyed the stillness. On my last day at the house, I threw my bread to the fish (always one to give back to nature even if it was garlic bread), and then panicked as a sea of crust lay atop the waves and started to roll towards the neighbours. I thought fish ate bread? I would be forever known as the polluter or poisoner of wildlife. Well I didn’t have to worry because after not so long the birds like a Hitchcock movie came pelting down. Problem solved. If the birds died it would be nowhere near me.
It was farewell to the Sunshine State and onwards to New York City.
USA Intro Day 1 – The Journey
Seat Layout
Day 1 – The Journey
I have embarked on a tour of the States for three months to see friends and work a little (yes I have the right visa) and get out of the Big Smoke that is London.
The adventure started with a stay at the Sofitel Gatwick. The rooms are adequate but if you think anything might be going on in Gatwick of an evening then think again. The pubs are shut; the bars are open next to the hotel and what they lack in atmosphere they make up for in price on the drinks, because the pubs are shut. Nonetheless a good night’s sleep was had. I never like to travel hung over or worse drunk and this is from past lessons learned. Nothing is worse than feeling like vomit and your delayed plane journey consists of a bumpy ride with the obligatory child kicking your chair.
This time I had the wonderful option of travelling by Business Class. This means two things on British Airways; no child kicking your chair repeatedly whilst the parents ignore its happening and you also get the chair that reclines into the bed. The bed is an amazing and comfortable and highly lazy option, it makes any journey fly by (pun intended.)
I was facing an odd soon to be pensioner red jumper wearing (hers with pearls) couple who were looking directly at me. We all had our feet up and I could tell neither of us wanted to be looking at each other’s faces. I was looking at them, they were looking at me, a divider window was between us but being English no one wanted to press the button and be rude. So I did what anyone would do and waited for the woman to go to the bathroom. I pressed the button which didn’t work. The window came up and then came back down. I styled it by looking ahead and pretending that it hadn’t happened. The husband ignored it too. She pressed it on her return and it worked.
I reclined into the laziest recline possible. Not quite the bed but like a sofa. Pulled up a film to watch and relaxed but unfortunately in front of me were two parents either side of two children as the seats in the middle are a cluster of four. To get to the middle the father in front of me had to keep getting up and stepping over my feet. The wife to see the husband had to do the same. This wouldn’t have been a problem had they not wanted to do this at least twenty times with both having the balance of let’s say zero. Each time without fail they kicked my chair. The manna that I was expecting of a no kicking zone ceased. They always mumbled sorry, but they didn’t stop. I looked down and mumbled its ok but refused eye contact which is the universal phrase for it’s not OK. But in the end with my eye mask on and trying to have one almighty snooze they kicked the seat for one last time at which whoever it was got to see blindfolded woman shoot up with hands out in an asking fashion grunting Ughh’ at them. It didn’t stop but it did calm down after.
The rest of the flight was without incident.
worldwideattitude 