Category Archives: Woman
Reims – Champagne Weekend in France
Cathedral in Reims
Everyone has a different version of how to say it and the one we went with sounded like ‘Rance’ as if choked from the back of the throat. I went on a coach ride, with a bunch of people I didn’t know and lets just say alcohol does wonderful things to bond strangers.
The ferry took just over an hour to get to France. I had it in my head that it was three hours, so this was bonus number one . Getting to Reims only takes another few hours. Bonus number two.
There’s a lot to be fermenting and drinking in these.
I went to visit Pomeroy which had auspicious cellars but that was about it. But then over a couple of days we saw three other independent and smaller champagne producers and that’s much more fun. They talk away about how they make it and everyone nods politely, whilst downing the first glass quickly to get the six more. No one was pausing to comment on any aromas of pear. Within the hour I and my motley crew were smashed and buying enough champagne to fill our imaginary cellars at home.
I don’t know why this is in a champagne house but maybe it represents how you feel after one too many bubbles.
You get drunk, buy champagne, store it in the coach and take it home. Some champagne did not make the coach journey back. Some places put on a lunch. Reims is also a great place to stay in. There’s not a lot to do there bar see the cathedral and drink, but apparently there’s a great Xmas Market too. This champagne weekend is the ultimate hen do waiting to happen.
Here’s a couple of places
http://www.champagne-lacourte-godbillon.com/content.asp?IDR=114273
http://www.champagne-dauby.fr/welcome_172.htm
Here’s some info.
Click to access Group-tours-in-the-Champagne,-the-Marne-BD2.pdf
LifeHouse Spa – I spa, you spa, we spa,
Who doesn’t like to spa? This place is near Clacton On Sea. I thought Clacton was a place of caravans and grannies. Maybe it is? I saw the county of Essex and got the fear of turning up at a spa and seeing blond supertanned supertoned Ken and Barbies. But that was not the case. First off everyone bar two spray tanners were normal. All shapes and sizes were present at that pool. Groups of women, couples, but no groups of men though. The pool was heated. The jets in the Jacuzzi could knock over a small child and probably do.
The grounds are gorgeous and serene. Everyone who works there are super friendly. The treatments are as you would expect from a spa and to a high standard. Now lets talk about the room. A King Size bed people. I don’t even think I requested it and I got it. What kind of lushness is that? And GHD’s in the room as standard? I mean where does that happen?
I was as happy as they were
Now lets talk about the food. This is no spa of a couple of bits of green beans over salmon. Oh no. You can have a 2 or three course dining menu that is better than a gastro pub. And the small choice of wines are excellent. It’s perfect turn up stressed. Have treatments and relax immediately, pig out and drink and indulge. Sleep in a King Size bed.
I went on a Bank Holiday and it was busy and I’ve got to say it wasn’t even that busy. I was so overwhelmed by spa choices but now I’ve Lifehoused I doubt I’d want to try anywhere else for a while. I can’t wait to get back there and drink Malbec.
Sanderson Hotel – Mad Hatter’s Tea Party
Cakes in Wonderland
Like Cake? Like Tea? Look at it people. Look at it. Whoever got to be the pastry chef at the Sanderson must have wept with joy when they said ‘ Let’s do Alice in Wonderland, just use your imagination.’ Every sandwich is rolled into a tube of different colours. Every cake is delicious and cleverly crafted from marshmallow toadstools to carrot shaped meringue. There are an amazing selection of teas on offer that are far from the norm but all delicious. And if you fancy it a cheeky glass of champagne can be added too.
I’ve been put off by the idea of Afternoon teas before as they can be snooty, stingy and just full of people dressed up for a cuppa for no other reason then to blankly stare at each other, wondering why they paid so much. But this one is worth it. We went as part of a baby shower and they let us lounge for a good few hours. Londoners and Tourists Unite.
Marvellous Mystery of how they got the Passion Fruit dessert in the bottle.
Spaniards Inn – Hampstead, London.
Sometimes this pub can get a bit too busy for it’s own good, but that’s because it’s a great pub and everyone knows, find a great pub and find the worst kept secret. So if you want it when it’s buzzy then go in the summer and crash someones gigantic table outside in the huge garden, and join everyone else who is getting sloshed. If you want it a bit quieter than do what I just did and get there at midday on a Sunday and grab the last unreserved table. I was having a Roast Dinner in the Evening and did entertain the idea of ordering one from lunch and doing the double, but I didn’t I went for Gnocchi, and I’m so glad I did. I mean look at it. One of the best gnocchi’s I have ever had. Hand made, truffle cream with pea shoots and chestnut mushrooms. This deserves the biggest picture ever. 
Andina – Peruvian Food in East London
Picture taken from Opentable, where you can book a table should you want to. Or you can call the restaurant, they have a phone.
I don’t like raw fish. Andina is a Ceviche Bar. Just so you know what that is as I didn’t, it’s raw fish. My heart sank. It hadn’t been my choice to go for Peruvian, because frankly who would? Menu Menu Menu, my eyes then scanned to quinoa burger. Sad, so sad. But wait then Pig Butty – oh lunch only and I was there for dinner. I was glad their food was for suitable for coeliacs and locally sourced but how about some food that I could have? You can get a whole suckling pig, – if you order it five days before…
But wait there’s a pot at the end of the rainbow, because being on my best behaviour and also being hungry I just decided to go for it. Grilled steak skewers and chicken casseroles, all with weird, but cooked ingredients not previously mentioned and you know what? It was good. It was really good. The doughnuts for dessert made the meal just wish that there had been more choices.
The place has a good vibe. It’s busy, small seating, not posh nosh but street food. The service is really good and friendly but it’s not somewhere you would go and sit for a long time enjoying your food. I liked it, but if you like sushi you will probably like it more.
Bermuda
Paradise Views
Yes it really is as beautiful as any images you could have seen of it. It’s incredibly small and easy to get around. The beaches are stunning and the views breath taking. I flew in for a weekend and went to the beach and drank with the crowds. It is expensive as in city prices. And for someone like me who can’t sit on a beach for more than a few days, a weekend was perfect.
Miami
After Vegas I headed to Miami to visit my friend. We headed out looking for a strong coffee called Cortadito, which I would say is like an espresso but called something else. We found a great little place in the middle of pretty much nowhere and got our fix. This is of course after having to order in Spanish something that should be so simple and yet both of us floundered with our arms helplessly flapping as we tried to ask for coffee.
I learnt Spanish for a year when I was sixteen, mainly because my boyfriend at the time was Spanish and I wanted to know what his mum was saying about me. All these years later and the simple task of ordering a coffee and all I could think of was how to order a beer and say where is the station? Useless. But they smiled politely and got us what we wanted after what seemed an eternity of lost in translation. I had let myself down, my family down and anyone else I could think of down.
We decided not to do South Beach but drive around looking for Street Art and we found plenty. I have nothing sarcastic to say about any of it. It just reminded me of how I got a B- for effort in art but D for the actual execution. I never quite worked out how to get what was inside my head into art but these people certainly had. I wonder if they draw it first as a sketch or can just do?
We had an amazing lunch at a place called Michael’s Food and Drink; it’s worth mentioning because apart from the tables being too close together, so much so we actually joined in the conversation with the people next to us, I think I had the best Chilli I had ever had. It was a food haven.
Miami behind me I flew for a rest to my family in Florida, on a jet plane. The propeller kind where there is only 20 seats. Now I know why it only cost sixty bucks. How the pilot and attendants do it constantly I don’t know. I felt like I was in the movie Knight and Day when Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are the only people on the plane bar the bad guys. If only Tom Cruise had made an appearance perhaps all would have been well, but he wasn’t so I shit myself for the hour.
Las Vegas – Days 49 -52
Welcome to the money pit.
The first thing that hits is that New York To Vegas on a flight is a five and a half hour trip. I could almost me back in London by then. The flight was a lot of fun though. It was a real mixture of people but I enjoyed mainly listening to the guys behind me who were drunk trying to chat up the non interested girl sitting between them whilst randomly shouting out ‘Yeah! Vegas!’.
The guy next to me was irritating as he didn’t understand the meaning of personal space. His lanky arms were knocking me the whole time and I had to give him a look of ‘go to hell’ at which he apologised but continued all the same. I stared out the window and as the landscape of the everlasting desert hit my eyes I thought this is one place where there really is nowhere for miles and if we crash landed we would be truly screwed.
When we landed a couple of people clapped. Why on earth do people do that? It was a terrible bumpy landing that felt it was like the pilot’s first time. That or he had been on the Vegas juice himself. The comedians behind me commented loudly at the two passengers clapping ‘ worst landing ever.’
So off the Wynn hotel to meet my parents who are bigger party goers than me. Vegas was having a heat wave but who would have known that? Everyone was in, playing the computer games that take your money; my-self included. When I did win all of twenty bucks I felt terribly embarrassed as the noises of what is similar to a fire alarm went off. I’m terribly English and people are looking. Shush machine, shush. The volume was down from then on.
Hey Everyone come play me lots of love Dolly.
Walking past the nightclubs I did want to point out to some of the young ladies who weren’t hookers that maybe that dress really didn’t fit them. Go a size up – I wanted to say. It will flatter you more. Maybe actually four sizes up. What could I say though ? I spent most of my time eating in amazing restaurants and drinking for free at the machines.
I’ve been a few times to Vegas and so didn’t go to see the shows. I’d always recommend ‘O’ in the Bellagio as the best one. I joined the masses throwing money away in the name of fun but I guess that’s what we used to do as kids on arcades just perhaps on a larger scale.
Philadelphia and New York – Days 42 to 48
After recovering for a few days from Road Trip a friend and I took a long hot drive to Philadelphia because my favourite sandwich is a Philly Cheese Steak and why not have it in Philly? So he very kindly drove us the three hours – I had in my head it took an hour and a half. We stopped along the way where I was introduced to Cinnabon which has massive cakes that look like deep filled chicken pie. I couldn’t do it, I had to choose the cheese steak there was too much riding on it.
Two rivals opposite each other Pats and Genos. We went to the one with the bigger queue which was Pats. The pressure was on to make sure the order was correct. It seems there is an etiquette as to how to order and how to get it right. The sandwich did not disappoint and was demolished probably a bit too quickly. The kind of quick where you sit wondering just how loud your stomach can get digesting. Within half hour we were back on the road. Five hours of driving for a sandwich, crazy I know. But there wasn’t anything else to see in Philly on that baking hot day bar a wall with some street art so we left.
My favourite restaurant in Manhattan is Stanton Social on the lower East side. It’s a place that does Tapas style food and Beauty and Essex is the sister restaurant around the corner. They are a little bit up themselves in there unlike Stanton and so are the clientele. I don’t like it really if the person asking you if you would like a drink is looking at you like a bored soon to be ex.
I don’t know if it’s a one-off or standard but in the ladies bathroom separated in a changing area they give away free champagne. I delighted in taking this offering (tipping of course) and watching the look of amusement on my friends faces as they waited to get served and I swanned upstairs with a glass of bubbly. Why we didn’t just traipse up and down all night I do not know. The waitress wouldn’t have noticed.
Later in the week, I walked the Highline which apparently on, online dating is the equivalent of going to Borough Market in London, as in everyone does it. It’s alright; kind of cool to see the city from a height, but not that mind-blowing however to walk on some concrete at a height. If I had gone on a date there I would have been pissed right off.
But New York had to have a quick goodbye for a couple of weeks after that as I made the next journey to Vegas, Miami and Tampa Bay once more.
Day 40 -41 – Charleston, Myrtle Beach and Home
Best ribs in town.
Leaving Savannah was a sad moment. I had been caught up in the magic of it all. But road trip means just that, and we all have to make our way back to somewhere of significance at some point. As we checked out the hotel my roadster friend asked the lady at reception with the grey hair and glasses who looked like the grandma out of the Tom and Jerry cartoon.
‘I want ribs. I want a shack. I don’t want tourist. You know what I’m saying?’
‘Mmmmm Hmmm?’ Was her Southern accented answer. ‘You sure?’
‘Sure.’
And so we were given directions to Randy’s Bar B que. I had no idea what to expect even though he did and was even more surprised when we pulled up at a shack on the road that had two choices. Ribs or Chicken.
‘What’s good?’
‘Well we outta the chicken so it will have to be the ribs. And we outta the sides too.’ Said the screech behind the window.
So we went for medium ribs; medium for a giant maybe. And as we put them on the bonnet of the car in 90 degree heat and feasted, I thought – my lord these are the best ribs I have ever had in my life. Completely worth any food poisoning that may happen.
We drove on to Charlston, but I’ve got to admit the town did not raise my pulse. It looks beautiful but it feels soulless. We wondered around for a couple of hours and felt like we had been there for days. We trundled through a big market selling the usual crafts as over the top prices. I can’t stand markets. Seen a few, seen them all. We had a drink and walked back to the car. On the way, we came across a fountain with some children playing and stopped to read the rules. I’ve posted them below. I think it’s a sign of litigation going a bit too far in the States. It’s not like it was a deep swimming pool. But it pretty much summed up the town of beige cargo pant wearing men.
And so on to Myrtle beach to the Sheraton. I looked on Orbitz and got a price of 70 bucks. I rung the Sheraton and they wanted 140. Make sense of that if you can? I’m glad we only paid the seventy as when we turned up, not only did they charge extra for us to park the car in their car park but the place looked like it hadn’t been touched in a long time. I actually said as I went in, ‘ Hello 1982’ Talk about a plaster over things to cover up the falling apart. The staff smiled thinly but each looked like they had lost the will to live.
But we were tired and had a twelve hour journey back the next day. So went to the beach to play with the night sky app on the iphone. It tells you what the stars are in the sky. Well it could be making it up but it seems impressive. The beach is nice but it looks like a beach that could be anywhere in the world with rows of condominiums. The time was cut short by some morons with a laser light in one of the condos thinking it was hilarious to point it at us on the beach for at least half hour. And from the laughter I don’t think they were younger than eighteen, which I think we can all agree is a shame for them.
The drive back the next day was brutal but broken up with the delight of an $8 all you can eat buffet which did not suck in the slightest. It had fresh catfish any way you wanted it. I completely pigged out and on we drove back to New York, making it past the delirium and home safe. I salute my partner for doing the entire drive and not moaning once, probably more likely because he didn’t trust my driving. It was a journey where we really wanted to keep on driving but work called and so the chapter closed but it will stay dear in my heart as first and best proper road trip ever.
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