Mary Poppins Comes to the Lower East Side for one night only.

I’ve discovered the app HopStop. This is amazing in NYC for someone like myself who gets lost turning around. The only problem is that it tells you at the end of a subway stop to go in a compass direction which is an immediate fail for someone like me. Luckily on day 16 the friend who called me to do coat check called me as I got out of Canal Street and asked what way the traffic was going and told me it was the wrong way and to turn around, This was repeated on Day 17 too. Day 18 someone showed me that there was a compass on the iphone. Life is complete.

Day 16 was a Saturday and I was out in Soho wandering around with a friend trying out various vessels of white wine in various bars, which is always going to create a more than drunk night. You never know which way it will go but becoming utterly wasted is always a certainity. I get a call from my friend who has the direction of a magnet asking me to do coat check in his bar. I was drunk so it seemed like a fab idea.

I didn’t really want to do coat check but I had blabbed on about how i would do any job the week before if someone asked me just to try it once and of course when you brag it comes back and hits you in the face. So off I went. A thirty something in a twenty somethi ng lower eastside bar. It was like a drunk Mary Poppins had come to town. ‘Oh do have a fabulous time tonight’ I crowed in a posher than normal voice as I tried to contain my OCD with arranging the tickets as they came back. I thought people would be really rude to me but they weren’t and it was fun until the hangover kicked in at 3am The rail behind me, of course, fell down.

One particular individual eyed me up suspiciously and said ‘What’s going on here?
What do you mean ? I relplied . ‘Your’re far too cute to be running coat check’ I went up to his face and said ‘ you are right – I am too cute to be doing coat check. I’m filling in for a friend.‘What do you do when you are not running coat check?’ he enquired.
‘Run An Empire’. I deadpan replied.

Thank you Pinot Grigio you served me well.